


Holo-Grif Knows What's up

by CaptainEdgarOfTheHole



Series: Simmons Sucks at Feelings [1]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, dumb soldiers in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-26 01:11:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3831637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainEdgarOfTheHole/pseuds/CaptainEdgarOfTheHole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grif is away and Simmons is totally not pouting.</p>
<p>Goes with my fic 'Let Me Tell You Your Secrets' but can be read separately.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holo-Grif Knows What's up

**Author's Note:**

> So I was thinking about making this a series that runs simultaneous to my orange & aqua series (which seriously needs a new name) let me know what you think of the idea!

Simmons was definitely not pouting.

Donut has no idea what he was talking about.

He was not pouting ‘cause he doesn’t care that Grif went on a dumb mission with that dumb blue and abandoned Simmons at the base to put up with dumb Donut. He is also not at all upset that Grif has just taken over his role as a kiss-ass and he is of course not at all upset that Sarge was actually listening to Grifs suggestions when he never once listens to Simmons ideas that actually make sense!

Okay so maybe he was pouting a little.

It is the first time in years that Simmons and Grif have been separated and Simmons is beginning to remember why he tends to stay close to the orange soldier. Cause everyone else in this god awful canyon is a fucking idiot. Donut keeps trying to get him to have a picnic with him down near the waterfall, he keeps wailing about how its inhumane to keep an ex farm boy couped up indoors all day and when Simmons suggested that he just go by himself he started lecturing Simmons on how it’s not healthy to sit in the dark and pout and that when he feels down he likes to make himself feel better by having nice relaxing bubble baths and sharing his feelings with his friends. The lecture only ended when Lopez came in and Donut started to have what Simmons is sure was a very rewarding conversation with the Spanish robot.

Simmons then decided that he would head down to the bunker underground and, well pout.

It didn’t take long for pouting to become fuming. How could Grif do this to him! He knew how much Simmons hated this new base! It was too big and cold. Nothing like the shitty base (in the middle of the shitty canyon) at Blood Gulch, the place they had called home for so long. And how could Grif just leave on this god forsaken mission after Simmons had begged him not to go! The idiot was going to get himself killed and Simmons wasn't even going to be there to tell him just how dumb he was for thinking that this was in any way a good idea!

Once down in the hologram chamber Simmons programmed in a jeep and clambered into the backseat pulling out a book. He tries for at least an hour to read his book and not think about the infuriating orange clad soldier but after reading the same sentence for the fifteenth time he finally gave up. Instead he decides to take his frustration out on the hologram Grif programming one in and hopping onto the gunner position in the jeep.

Lining up the shot Simmons is all prepared to shoot when the Grif hologram lets out a shout of “What the fuck Simmons! I can’t believe you’re going to use me as target practice!”

The maroon private jumps toppling off the back of the warthog landing with a heavy crash very much wishing that he hadn’t abandoned his helmet in his haste to get away from donut. He drags himself up peering over the back of the jeep to stare at the holographic soldier.

“He- hello!” Simmons calls unsure if he had really heard the hologram say something, or if he had finally lost his mind.

“Yo” the hologram replies walking towards the confused private “What are you doing man?”

Simmons just stares at the Grifogram.

“Um dude you okay? You’re just staring. Is there something on my visor? Is it a spider! Oh god get it off!” the fake Grif starts flailing around trying to get an imaginary spider off of his holographic visor, Simmons just shakes his head at the stupidity that is Grif.

“There is nothing on you dumb-ass” Simmons sighs “you’re not even real! And on that note. HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO ME!” Simmons finishes with a shriek.

The Grifogram stops flailing now that he knows that there is nothing on him and responds “Oh the holo-room is connected to the rest of the equipment at red base and even all of your suits. The computer automatically uploaded things like Grifs journal entries and general radio transmissions to my file to make me more accurate to the real Grif.”

Simmons scoffs “Yeah well it obviously isn’t working, I don’t think I’ve ever heard Grif say that many words before”

The Grif hologram just shrugs “Just because I have all the data on him doesn’t mean I use it, that’s a lot of files to go through”

“And there’s the Grif I know and hate”

“Oh come on! I have access to your journals too, I _know_ you don’t hate him” the hologram drawls climbing into the jeep and draping himself over the front seat. Simmons marvels at just how Grif like the move was, it was almost like having the lazy orange soldier here with him. Except he’s not, he’s in the middle of the desert and he just left Simmons here with only a dumb hologram to talk to.

He contemplated heading back upstairs but the prospect of having to have another conversation about his amazing new pencils. So he pulls himself up into the free seat next to the fake Grif.

“Why do you have access to my journals? How will that help you be more accurate?” Simmons asks getting comfortable.

“You do realise that everyone from Blood Gulch never refers to you two separately? I’m pretty sure Tucker actually believes you two are together and-“

“How do you know that? Tucker hasn’t even been to this canyon!”

“ _And_ Sarge makes sure there is at least two walls between his chambers and your and Grifs room so that he won’t have to _hear_ anything.”

“Oh god! We’re not together! Why does everyone think that, we don’t even like each other, for Christ sake we spend all out time together fighting.” Simmons replies almost glumly.

“Please, you can’t lie to me, should I play your journal from last week after you saw Grif in nothing but a towel?”

“What! No! That won’t be necessary I get your point, please don’t make me re-live that” Simmons says the image of a dripping wet Grif wearing nothing but a towel sprawled out on Simmons bed –apparently his own bunk was covered in crumbs – still fresh in his mind.

It had taken Simmons a whole week of avoiding the orange soldier – and some unfortunate chafing – for him to not have to jack off at least twice a day because of the memory. Safe to say it had been a long week.

“Also that doesn’t prove that we’re together, in any way, at all.” Simmons replies trying very hard not to think about the memory too much.

“Yeah but it proves that I’m sexy and that’s really the most important thing here”

“What? What is going on!! What does any of this have to do with you having access to my journals?”

“God you’re oblivious! I have your journals cause there is no Grif, without Simmons! That just how this works!” The Holo-Grif shouts frustrated with the maroon soldiers obtuseness.

Simmons on the other hand just slumped into his seat next to the fake Grif “Guess the real Grif didn’t get the memo” he murmurs sullenly.

“What do you mean?”

“You obviously haven’t updated your files recently. Grif’s been trying to get rid of me as much as possible recently! He started sucking up to Sarge, doing all my jobs! He’s basically trying to make me feel useless, Grif can be mean sometimes but this is just plain cruel! He use to just make fun of me for being a nerd, for being smart, but he’s never actually made me feel dumb… till now” Simmons rants.

The maroon solder had been thinking about it for days trying to figure out what Grifs deal was, the normally sarcastic and cynical man was suddenly helping Sarge with his stupid plans without even having to be ordered to, when normally Simmons couldn’t get him to wake before midday even if he dragged him off the bed.  It didn’t make sense, especially considering that old regulation red hated Grifs guts, why would Grif want to help someone who hates him but won’t even get out of bed for someone who is supposed to be his friend.

There could only be one answer. Grif figured out that he hates Simmons and wants to make his life hell.

Holo-Grif just sighs shaking his head at how wrong the other is.

“For a smart person, you can be really dumb sometimes Simmons” Is all he says before disappearing, leaving a very confused Simmons sitting alone in the jeep.

Well what the fuck does that mean? Simmons thinks staring at the empty space left by the hologram. Before he can ponder the topic too much he hears a call from the stairs.

“Oh heyyy Simmons! There you are! I’ve been looking for you for hours! I set up a lovely picnic in blue base! That way you get to stay indoors like you wanted but we still get to have our super awesome picnic! It’s genius.” Donut says in that far too cheerful way that grates on Simmons’ nerves.

The maroon soldier groans “That’s it I’m blowing up blue base with or without Lopez’s help.” He mutters to himself knowing that it will be the only way he gets out of this dumb picnic with Donut.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always welcome!  
> <3 everyone who reads this!


End file.
